Does Delhi Need Queer-Exclusive Bars And Cafés? Here’s What People From The Community Think

“When I see a gay man walking inside my restaurant owning a bold red lip, high heels, and a ruffled skirt, I am reminded of how I grew up feeling rather ashamed of who I was—being bullied and constantly seen as someone abnormal and deviant shrunk me as a person. Had queer forward and exclusive bars and cafes existed at the time, it might not have taken 45 years for me to be comfortable in my skin,” said Vikas Narula, a 48-year-old gay man who is also the founder of Delhi’s Depot 48, one of the few queer-forward bars in the city.

While Delhi is home to a large population of men and women who identify themselves as queer, the number of bars and cafes in the city that are run by and for the community can be counted on a single hand. Historically, these spaces have not only been a safe sanctuary for people of the community but also a site of activism and revolution. 

As someone who lies outside the community but is deeply interested in understanding the relevance of these spaces, I set out to answer a question:  Do we still need exclusive spaces at a time when we are slowly cultivating inclusivity?

 I didn’t expect a simple answer, but what I discovered is worth sharing. 

The History And Evolution Of Queer-Exclusive Bars 

Queer exclusive spaces, like gay bars, came up in the West, including Europe and North America, as clandestine spots that allowed members of the community to interact and socialise. 

From molly houses in Britain to salons and private clubs in the United States, these spaces soon became sites of solidarity and revolution. Post World War II, they were run by mafias in the urban parts of the United States, who paid the police to keep them open. 

Only after the Stonewall riots in 1969 did these spaces shed their secretive nature and come out in the open. 

In India, while gay parties were being organised at pubs like Voodoo and Gokul in Mumbai’s Colaba in the late 1900s and early 2000s, things came out in the open only after the Supreme Court’s verdict of decriminalising homosexual relationships in 2018.

 Today, Delhi is home to a handful of bars and cafes where people from the queer community don’t just feel welcomed but also loved. Depot 48 in GK-II, Kitty Su at LaLit New Delhi, and SAZ in Sunder Nagar are the few queer-forward bars in today’s Delhi. We set out to explore what these spaces mean to people and their relevance today. 

People’s View: What Could Queer-Exclusive Spaces Mean For The Community? 

“Exclusive queer spaces are not just venues but environments that foster community, collection, and a shared sense of safety at a time when queer people continue to negotiate acceptance,” said Aleem Siddiqui, a Delhi boy who orients himself as gender fluid. 

He also pointed out how the lack of queer-exclusive places in Delhi reduces options for people in the community who want to feel completely safe and accepted. “If a queer person is coming to Delhi for the first time and asks me where they should head, I will have only a few places to recommend, and that is sad,” added Siddiqui. 

Delhi is also a city that becomes home to hundreds of thousands of people from different parts of the country and the world each year. According to the latest available data, Delhi has received over 2,83,000 migrants in 2021. 

Many among them belonging to the community might be unfamiliar with the capital’s culture and thus choose places where the fear of a homophobe walking in would not haunt them. 

Under such circumstances, it becomes crucial for a city like Delhi to host spaces that are not only queer-friendly but also queer-exclusive. 

“Like Delhi, most cities and towns across the country are home to queer people. I advocate for such spaces to come up everywhere,” said Sunil Gupta, a 68-year-old Indian-born photographer settled in London. “I drop by a gay bar many times just to feel like I belong. It is similar to how Indians living abroad occasionally prefer to be surrounded by other Indians,” added Gupta. He has been married to his husband, Charan Singh, for over 14 years, and the couple lives together in London.

Inclusivity Vs Exclusivity: The Relevance Of Queer-Exclusive Bars And Cafes 

When I asked my interviewees if spaces like queer bars and cafes would mean cultivating exclusivity at a time when the country is scratching the surface towards an inclusive atmosphere, I found myself in the middle of a debate. While some thought that one could not demand anything exclusive for a hyper-inclusive community, others felt the difference between equity and equality must be realised. 

“Promoting exclusive queer cafes is almost like placing ourselves in silos. Why should a community that believes in including every individual across sexual orientations promote anything divisive?” asked Rahul Arora, a gay man who runs a travel agency in Delhi. According to him, queer-friendly cafes and events are great ways of normalising and including oneself in the larger community while enjoying exclusivity. 

As I began to lean towards his argument and arrive at a conclusion, Siddiqui shared a different perspective. “Inclusivity does not mean we erase the minority’s need for a safe space. Do women-only gyms or female metro compartments make society less inclusive?” Siddiqui asked.

He suggested that we should either have exclusive eateries coming up across the city or bars and cafes reserving some days of the week for the people of the LGBTQAI+ community. “This will foster joy and solidarity in a world that has never been kind to us,” he added. 

Are Dating Apps Substitutes? 

While the reader shall be given a choice to pick their side on the relevance of queer-exclusive bars and cafes, one thing that saw complete agreement among my interviewees was how dating apps like Grindr and Bumble could never be a substitute for physical spaces. Historically, gay bars were cruising spots for most men since one’s presence there was enough to make a point about their sexuality.

“In a world where left and right swipes choose partners, the spark and butterflies are lost,” said Gupta. He also mentioned that these apps categorise people and make relationships transactional and transient. 

“Parties and dates allow people to meet, hold hands, share a few kisses, and dance the night away- something they can never do online,” said Narula. Innumerable people have found their partners at his parties at Depot 48.

Pink Money: The Economics Behind Pride Month And Queer-Friendly Events 

While some spaces organise queer-forward and exclusive events in Delhi, including Pink Thursdays, drag shows, and karaoke nights throughout the year, others usually crop up only in June. It is celebrated as Pride Month worldwide, commemorating the 1969 New York Stonewall Riots.

While the idea of pink money, which refers to the purchasing power of queer people, has existed and impacted the market in other parts of the world for a relatively long time, it came up in India only after the Supreme Court decriminalized homosexuality in 2018. Since then, restaurants and hotels have been using this concept to their benefit. 

“I think the only hotel in India that has used pink money for their benefit as well as the community’s welfare is the Lalit group of hotels. Others usually wake up during Pride Month since that is when they will benefit the most from the money spent by queer people,” said Siddiqui.

“I appreciate more and more places coming up with queer-friendly events during Pride Month, but my disagreement is with the tokenism and their total disappearance as soon as June ends,” said Narula. 

Another way of looking at it would be to understand that a market runs on demand and supply. In a society like India, people still fear walking out in public spaces, wearing their identity on their sleeves. In such circumstances, people move away from investing in spaces meant only for the community’s people. 

While there is great progress that people of the community are accepted by non-queer individuals, some of them still believe in taking refuge in spaces that are for and by them will make them feel more free and safe.